One of the quiet joys of being someone who journals or keeps a planner is the ability to revisit the person you used to be. Flipping through old pages can bring a smile or even laughter at how seriously we once took certain things that now seem trivial. But sometimes, those glimpses into our past stir up more complicated emotions—longing for who we used to be, cringing at who we were, or mourning a time that felt more hopeful or exciting.
As we approach the close of another year, many of us naturally reflect on what we’ve become—and what we’ve left behind. The process of letting go of old versions of ourselves isn’t always simple. But it can be deeply healing, especially when done with kindness and intention. Here’s how to honor your past self while gracefully stepping into who you are now.
1. Remove the Rose-Colored Glasses
When we look back, it’s tempting to idealize a time in our lives when everything seemed better. Maybe you were more confident, more successful, more carefree. But memory can be deceptive. That “better” version of you may have also been struggling in unseen ways.
It’s important to remember that every chapter—no matter how golden it appears in hindsight—came with its own set of difficulties. The person you were then was not perfect, and neither is the person you are now. And that’s okay.
Try This:
- Think of a time in your life you often romanticize. What challenges were you facing then that you now overlook?
- Are you holding past-you to an impossible standard? If so, why?
2. Give Past-You the Benefit of the Doubt
Regret is natural, but self-compassion is crucial. The truth is, you did the best you could with what you knew and what you had. That doesn’t mean you’re excused from accountability. It simply means recognizing that growth requires grace.
One powerful example comes from a man who turned his history of addiction into a force for good by founding a nonprofit for recovery. He explained, “If I couldn’t forgive the man I was, I wouldn’t be able to help the people I care for today.” That’s the essence of healing—not denying the past, but learning from it.
Try This:
- Which version of you needs the most forgiveness?
- If you could speak to your past self, what would you say? What did they most need to hear?
- How can you use your past to uplift someone else?
3. Understand: It’s Not Goodbye Forever
Our past selves don’t vanish. They echo in our decisions, our fears, our joys. Sometimes, they visit in dreams or in quiet moments of nostalgia. A drive through an old neighborhood, a familiar smell, or a song can pull you back in time in an instant.
Instead of pushing these memories away, consider what they’re trying to show you. Maybe it’s a longing for something you’ve neglected—like creativity, connection, or freedom. Or maybe it’s a reminder of how far you’ve come.
Try This:
- What aspect of your past self still shows up the most? Are they a source of comfort or conflict?
- Are there forgotten dreams or values you’d like to bring back into your current life?
- What memories or experiences are you finally ready to let go of?
4. Live Fully in the Now
The past can teach and the future can inspire, but the present is where your power lies. This moment—right now—is a chance to reconnect with who you are becoming.
As the saying goes, “Today is a gift.” Savor it. Think of the laughter, the quiet victories, the people who show up for you. Think of how your current self is navigating things past-you never imagined possible.
Try This:
- Name three things today that brought you peace or joy.
- What small moments from this current season will future-you cherish?
- What resources or relationships do you now have that once felt out of reach?
5. Moving Forward Without Erasing the Past
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. You are not abandoning your past self—you are honoring them by growing. All the versions of you, from the anxious teenager to the overly ambitious young adult, have contributed to the person reading these words now.
You are a mosaic of every experience, every misstep, every lesson. There is no need to cut ties with who you were in order to become who you’re meant to be.
Try This:
- Reflect on how your past has shaped your values, your resilience, and your vision.
- Think about what “moving forward” looks like when it includes every part of you.
A Gentle Goodbye
Saying goodbye to past versions of yourself is more like a quiet farewell to an old friend than a final goodbye. It’s okay to feel sadness, nostalgia, or even gratitude. You’re not walking away—you’re walking forward, with a deeper understanding of what it means to evolve.
So, as you shed the skin of 2024—or of years far behind—do so gently. Carry the wisdom, release the guilt, and step forward knowing that you are becoming more you with every passing day.