By reframing the concept of consistency, Bay Area mindset coach Stephanie Booth offers a deeply personal yet universal perspective on a struggle so many of us face: Why can’t we stick with our commitments? Why does the motivation that lights us up one moment seem to fizzle the next? And how do we move beyond this frustrating cycle?

A recent question from one of Booth’s clients hits at the heart of this issue:

“I always go all in—two days of doing awesome—then I make one mistake and quit. This keeps happening in every area of my life. How do I stop the cycle and build something balanced and sustainable?”

Sound familiar? If you’ve ever begun a new habit or self-improvement goal with fire in your belly—only to watch that fire extinguish under pressure, doubt, or a single misstep—you’re not alone. And the problem, Booth suggests, isn’t about willpower or discipline. It’s about the subtle and painful ways we turn against ourselves.

The Old Pattern: Self-Abandonment in Disguise

Booth shares that for years, she thought inconsistency was just one of her fundamental flaws. A weakness. Something shameful. Her pattern looked something like this:

• Discover a powerful new concept
• Have a breakthrough moment of clarity
• Get excited to implement change
• Make a bold commitment
• Immediately second-guess herself
• Give it a lukewarm attempt
• Slip up
• Quit entirely

This loop—so familiar to many—masquerades as a problem of discipline. But underneath it, Booth realized, was a deeper wound: self-abandonment. Every time doubt crept in, she distanced herself from her original desire. Each slip-up became an excuse to withdraw, rather than an invitation to recommit.

In hindsight, she sees that her self-improvement attempts were never anchored in compassion. Instead, they were driven by fear, scarcity, and the exhausting need to prove her worth.

The Turning Point: Choosing Herself, Every Time

So what changed?

Booth didn’t stumble upon some productivity hack or trick to boost discipline. Her transformation began when she chose to stop abandoning herself.

“When I healed my need to abandon myself in moments of doubt, follow-through became a natural result of my commitment to me,” she says.

This shift wasn’t just behavioral—it was existential. She stopped tying her self-worth to results and started practicing what she calls personal excellence.

That phrase might sound lofty, but for Booth, it’s incredibly grounded. Personal excellence doesn’t mean perfection. It means choosing to show up for yourself, again and again, especially when it’s hard. It means being present with your own discomfort and uncertainty, instead of running from it.

“Now, I don’t compare myself to others. I don’t wish I were different. And I no longer check out when things feel overwhelming. I’ve got my own back.”

And that—having your own back—is the cornerstone of true consistency.

Redefining Consistency: It’s Not What You Think

Too often, we think consistency is about rigidity. About pushing through no matter what. But Booth’s approach reframes it: consistency is about alignment. When your actions align with your values—and when you treat yourself with gentleness, even in failure—you no longer need to white-knuckle your way through change.

You don’t need to start over after a mistake. You simply pick up where you left off.

This mindset shift turns consistency from a struggle into a form of self-respect. You’re not just chasing goals anymore. You’re building a relationship with yourself based on trust.

The Practice of Showing Up

This isn’t to say Booth never faces resistance. Of course she does. But now, instead of letting it derail her, she welcomes it as part of the process. Whether it’s launching a new project that doesn’t get the reception she hoped for or starting a journaling habit that feels awkward at first—she stays.

She stays with the discomfort. She stays with the process. She stays with herself.

And that, she says, is the real victory.

“This is the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself,” she reflects. “I can be present with myself when things feel hard, overwhelming, scary, or painful.”

The Takeaway: Your Consistency Isn’t Broken—Your Trust Is

So what can we learn from Booth’s journey?

If you’re stuck in a cycle of inconsistency, consider the possibility that it’s not about motivation. It’s not about laziness or lack of will. It may be about your relationship with yourself—and whether you believe you’re worth sticking with, even when things get messy.

Ask yourself:

• Do I abandon my goals the moment I mess up?
• Do I talk to myself with kindness when I struggle?
• Do I believe I’m still worthy of love and effort, even when I fall short?

Healing consistency issues doesn’t start with better planning. It starts with choosing, over and over again, to stay with yourself.

And when you do, you just might find that consistency isn’t something you have to force anymore—it’s something that flows naturally from a deep, unshakeable self-trust.

Much love to you today, wherever you are in your journey. You’re not broken. You’re learning how to stay.