Addiction often wears many masks. For some, it’s an all-consuming storm; for others, a quiet shadow lurking beneath the surface of a seemingly “normal” life. Dave L.’s story is not the typical tale of downfall and despair. It is a raw, honest journey of struggle, survival, and ultimately, self-acceptance.
Dave identifies as an alcoholic today, but his relationship with substances began long before alcohol took center stage. It started innocuously enough — introduced to marijuana by older friends at the tender age of eight. For a child navigating a difficult childhood, the escape it provided felt like a lifeline. What began as a coping mechanism eventually spiraled into a relentless pursuit of “more”: more drugs, more alcohol, more gambling, more shopping — an endless quest to fill a growing void.
Alcohol officially entered Dave’s life at 12, followed by prescription pills at 16. The pills were not the result of illicit dealings or street purchases. Instead, they came from doctors, prescribed in large quantities for severe medical conditions and multiple surgeries. By age 16, Dave had undergone 45 surgeries due to chronic knee problems and other health issues. The medication was real, necessary — yet also the gateway to a complex dependency that would shadow him for years.
In 1996, Dave’s life took a pivotal turn with the birth of his daughter. He gave up illegal drugs, convinced that fatherhood meant cleaning up his act and starting fresh. Yet, the legal prescriptions and alcohol persisted. Sobriety felt distant, and the grip of addiction remained tight.
His first encounter with a 12-step program was reluctant and skeptical. Yet, while reading the “Big Book,” Dave found a reflection of himself in a story titled “Doctor Alcoholic Addict.” Unlike many addicts portrayed as chaotic or lawless, Dave had never faced DUI charges or stolen medication. He held down jobs, had successful careers, and maintained relationships. But beneath the surface, his addiction was quietly destroying his life.
The defining moment came in 2003. On duty with the sheriff’s department, Dave suffered an injury that led to complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), a disease known for its excruciating pain. Doctors told him he would never work again and that his best hope was heavy medication just to live somewhat comfortably. What followed were seven years of what Dave describes as “hell on Earth.”
Despite warnings against mixing alcohol with his medication, Dave found in alcohol a rare relief — a temporary escape from relentless pain and despair. The drink quieted the chaos in his mind, allowing him brief moments of laughter and forgetfulness. It became his “manna from heaven.”
By 2009, after hip and knee replacements and long hospital stays, Dave was medication-heavy but sober from alcohol for over two years. However, a sudden mental snap, linked to one specific medication, led him to quit it abruptly and replace it with large quantities of high-proof rum. This dangerous substitution culminated in a psychotic break — neighbors called the police, and Dave found himself screaming in his backyard before being arrested and waking up in a padded cell.
This low point sparked a turning point. Supported by his family and legal counsel, Dave agreed to enter rehab. He was surprised by the warmth and kindness in the facility — a stark contrast to the isolation he had known. Despite feeling out of place among younger addicts, mostly struggling with heroin and meth, Dave embraced openness and willingness to try new approaches. His desire was clear: he wanted sobriety — something he had never truly experienced.
At over 40 years old, Dave began a new chapter. Meetings, sober living programs, and involvement in the recovery community slowly rebuilt his life. His first public speaking engagement — sharing his story at a halfway house in a tough neighborhood — was intimidating but became a source of pride and purpose.
Though the nerve disease remains a lifelong challenge requiring medication, Dave has learned to manage his pain. Where once he lived with pain levels of 8 to 10 on a scale of 1 to 10, today he describes it as an annoyance, typically manageable between 2 and 4. Flare-ups sometimes send him to the emergency room, but by and large, he functions normally.
More importantly, Dave has found peace within himself. Sobriety has transformed him — into a better father, son, brother, and friend. His relationships are stronger, his outlook brighter. Where once he measured every action by what benefit it might bring him, now his focus is on helping others, on being of service.
He is actively involved in programs bridging the gap between incarceration and recovery, providing support to those trying to rebuild their lives after jail. His message is clear and simple: sobriety is a daily commitment. It is “rented,” not owned, with the rent due every single day.
One counselor’s words from his treatment still resonate deeply with Dave: “If you do these 12-Steps very thoroughly, you won’t ever have to get loaded again, even if you want to.” What once seemed abstract now shines as a guiding truth.
Dave’s story is a powerful reminder that addiction doesn’t always look like what we expect. It doesn’t always come with public ruin or obvious chaos. Sometimes, it hides behind success and function, quietly eroding a life from within. But it also shows the profound strength of human resilience — the possibility of recovery, redemption, and ultimately, comfort in one’s own skin.
This story is a testament to the courage it takes to face addiction honestly, the power of community in healing, and the ongoing journey toward peace and self-acceptance. It reminds us all that no matter how dark the path, a brighter horizon can be reached with willingness, support, and the determination to keep moving forward.
